


the dictionary of you and me

by ephemeral_vitality



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dictionary, Drabble Collection, Fluff, M/M, Markbum, One-Shots, Smut, Words, my other fic is so dark compared to this lol, no death or anything in this one, prompts, so much fluff omg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-02-28 14:38:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 6,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13273557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeral_vitality/pseuds/ephemeral_vitality
Summary: this is a dictionary, written from jaebum’s perspective, for mark, about mark- and his relationship with him. it’s not alphabetical, nor is it chronological. it doesn’t have a pattern or order: it’s love.(college AU, each chapter is a short drabble or one shot based on a given word)





	1. dare

**Author's Note:**

> here's an explanation of the format:
> 
> it's a bunch of oneshots based off of a definition of a word that i find fun to write about! at the bottom, you see 'words relating to this storyline?' basically, that is just the oneshots that are a continuation of the events in the entry!

dare

  
_der/_

  
**n.**

  
a challenge, especially to prove courage.

•••

"Ok, Jaebum, you have to..." Jackson's eyes scanned the room for an unwilling participant, which just so happened to be you. "Kiss Mark!" He announced, pointing directly to your shocked and quickly reddening face.

"M-Me? Why? I-I...you don't have to-" you began to stammer out excuses while Jackson rolled his eyes.

"C'mon Jaebum!" He encouraged as you shook his head bashfully.

"I-If you don't want to, seriously...just don't-"

Your bottom lip became caught in mine. I kissed you with purpose, determination to make you know that I very much wanted to kiss you. Excuse me- how much I needed to kiss you. My hand caught yours on its way to rest on my cheek, and your other one gently stroked my hair. It went as long as it could before Jackson started screaming.

"Okay, okay, damn! It's just a dare, you guys!" He scoffed when we didn't stop. "Guys? ...guys?"

 **words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	2. blithe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! you may have seen a little “words relating to this storyline” at the bottom there! some words in this dictionary have a relationship to each other, for instance, "blithe" describes the journey to jb’s childhood home, "paradise" will describe how they feel when they’re chilling there together one morning, "youth" will describe how they played outside with jb's siblings, and "collision" will describe family dinner (i swear nothing bad happens lol it’s metaphorical)

blithe

 

_|blīT͟H, blīTH|_

 

**adj.**

 

carefree, happy, and lighthearted.

•••

I assumed that I'd love you until you changed into someone I wouldn't think you'd be. I assumed that once you turned into something different, I'd lose interest. But that just wasn't the case.

"Jaebum!" You screamed when I opened my door at 6AM on the first day of summer. You pointed to my car, boxes and bags filling the back seats and trunk. I smiled, exiting my now empty dorm and joining you, feeling your fingers fill the spaces between mine.

You sang to all the songs on the radio as I drove the two of us back to my hometown. Your excitement made my heart swell, and I took a few unnecessary rest stops just to get to kiss you. It was a way that I wasn't used to seeing you, loud and energetic, like you were in love with the whole world and all it could give you.

I loved every second of it, I loved every single laugh you emitted that day, every happy word you had said.

I still do.

 **words relating to this storyline:** _paradise_ _, youth, collision_


	3. apotheosis

apotheosis

_|əˌpäTHēˈōsis, ˌapəˈTHēəsis|_

**n.**

a model of excellence or perfection of a kind.

••• 

"Go away," You croaked out one particularly tough Wednesday as you buried your head in my duvet. You clung to the fabric that would soon be covered in tears, hopefully not both of ours, but most certainly yours.

"If you didn't want me with you, why'd you come to my dorm?" I questioned, and I knew I wouldn't get an answer. I watched your grip on the duvet falter, your body shaking once with a sob, then twice. "C'mere."

To my surprise, you quickly took up on the offer and turned to me, your tearful eyes shut tightly; I saw them for a split second before your head was buried in my chest. I could feel your hot tears seeping through my shirt, and my hands held you close. In my eyes, you were perfect no matter what you did, and I whispered to you that nothing you had done made me love you any less. You assumed that by showing your weakness, you'd somehow ruined the way I saw you. But you were still all I wanted, you were still you.

Your soft hair and even softer eyes, your beautiful lips and even more beautiful heart. If at any point I have thought you to be something less than perfection, I was wrong. If at any point you have thought the same, you were simply lying to yourself.

And I hope you go through life remembering that.

**words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	4. jealousy

jealous 

 

/ˈjeləs/

** adj. **

fiercely protective or vigilant of one's rights or possessions.

****

••• 

 

"Hey," I said while we watched a movie one night. My hand rested on your leg, thumb stroking over your soft sweatpants. You smiled up at me from where your head rested on my chest. 

"Hi," you responded softly, and my heart skipped more than just one beat. 

"This might be kind of random, but...you know that kid in our Physics class? Justice or something?"  


"Justin," you chuckled, and my stomach dropped, I really couldn't help it. "What about him? I've never really talked to him, have you?"  


"I haven't, really, but just be careful around him, okay?" 

"What do you mean? We can't really avoid him forever, you and I were assigned a lab with him for next week."

"Well, just- just talk to me while we do the lab. I...see the way he looks at you, alright?"  


"Oh, I see what this is...you do understand that I'm dating _you_ , Jaebum, right?" You asked, and I cracked a smile, causing you to giggle and give me a peck on the lips. 

"Say that again," I pouted jokingly, which made you laugh harder. 

"I'm dating you." 

"Ok. Now gimme another kiss." 

But the happiness I felt inside was tinged with the weird feeling that Justin just...existed. Look, the man was damn hot, there was no doubt he could get anyone he wanted. But it bothered me that the one he wanted was you, after knowing you were with me, like it was some challenge. He saw you as something to take from me, to win, and I hated it. I'm glad that you grew to understand my insane bouts of jealousy and anger, but I'm definitely not glad about the problems it had later caused prior to this understanding.

**words relating to this storyline:** _dread, dispute, apprehension, intoxicated, hangover_

 


	5. blizzard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wait this is at a college that has a campus that's like ~integrated~ into the city (like BU, Northeastern, etc...also sorry for only writing about northern universities that's where i'm from lol who knows there might be a ucla/rice/marquette AU coming from me sometime) anyways when mark's like 'i can just go back to my dorm' it's not like he just walks across a quad or down some stairs or something he's saying he's gonna take either a 30min walk, or a 5min car ride if traffic is good lol
> 
> i went too in depth with this lmao okay enjoy

blizzard

_|ˈblizərd|_

**n.**

a severe snowstorm with high winds and low visibility.

••• 

 

"I think I'm gonna have to sleep here tonight," You marveled as you stared out into the white snowstorm. I quickly looked up from the term paper I was finishing up, eyes wide.

"For- for real?"

"Oh, I could go back to my dorm if it-"

"No, no, stay," I said a little too eagerly, causing a small smile to fall onto your lips. In my voice was an excitement that I had failed to mask with a stoic face, and I embraced it as I practically ran to retrieve extra blankets. It was an excitement reserved for very few, and certainly not for those I thought to be only a friend.

"I can sleep on the couch, there's heat so it's ok," you said as I rushed to make my dorm comfortable. I nodded in agreement, almost tripping over my own feet.

"Oh yeah, it's nice and warm here, as long as the hea-"

The power (and most importantly, the  _heat_ ) shut off the moment my eyes darted to meet yours, the blankets in my hands immediately dropping as I heard your timid voice in the darkness.

"...H-how big is your bed?"

**words relating to this storyline:** _cold_


	6. stomachache

stomachache

_|ˈstəməkˌāk|_

**n.**

a pain in a person's belly.

•••

"You've...never tried raw cookie dough?" You questioned me, Mariah Carey belting out Christmas songs in the background as we made sugar cookies. Originally, I didn't agree to the activity, but you began pouting and my heart began to pound, so I gave in. I pretended that it was for my cardiovascular health, not because you were so cute.

"No, I bet it's gross," I scoffed, watching you swipe a bit into your mouth.

"Whatever. More for me."

Later, as the cookie dough was chilling in the fridge and we were sitting on the couch, I kissed you. I felt you smile, stroking my hair, and I licked my lips as we pulled apart.

"You taste like cookies," I whispered as I felt your breathy giggle brush over my face. "You know what? I may have to try some cookie dough."

I was sprawled on the couch about 20 minutes later as you took a batch of the cookies out of the oven. I clutched my stomach, groaning as I tried changing position.

"Mark, why'd you give me the cookie dough?!" I shouted towards the kitchen, watching you exit it on your way to me.

"I didn't, I suggested you try some. You just have no self-control." You snickered at me as I suffered.

"Why'd you do this to me?" I whimpered, feeling your hands gently stroke my sweaty forehead.

"Nobody forced you to eat half a bowl of raw cookie dough." You looked into my eyes before I could see your expression change to one of pity as you focused on my worn-out face. "Aw, my poor baby."

"You know what would make me feel better?" I asked, and after you replied with a slight 'hm?' I pulled you by the apron until our lips met in a passionate kiss.

"The cookies are done," You got up, both of us knowing very well that there were no cookies in the oven, and that you were just leaving to annoy me. I shouted after you that I hated you, the smile never leaving my face.

**words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	7. only

only

_/ˈōnlē/_

**adj.**

alone of its or their kind; single or solitary.

•••

It was a fairly cold night, the night we had our end-of-the-quarter social. You and I walked to the dinner hall together, arms crossed to keep our bodies warm. I listened to your random conversation, as you talked about the upcoming Biology exam and how, though you didn't seem nervous, you really were. I only chuckled, watching how you seemed to be talking to the air in front of you. It was the later days of November, the leaves still crunched under our feet, though they were worn and brown- diluted in comparison to the colorful leaves of early autumn. You went on to talk about the kind of food you hoped would be at the social, particularly cupcakes and chocolate cookies, and my God, you seemed to be more chatty the closer we got. 

I admired you in the dimly-lit street, your perfect face and full lips. _My best friend._

We arrived shortly, thankful that the dinner hall was closer to my dorm, where we got ready for the night. Inside, all of our classmates chatted away and migrated to the dance floor from time to time. Though you were inexplicably lighthearted in the hours leading up to the social, the crowds must've made you all kinds of uncomfortable. It was understandable. Even I, in all my confidence, felt that there were a few too many people, that the music was a little loud, considering we could hear it from outside. But otherwise, it was okay, because you and I sat beside each other and laughed and talked together. 

I spotted Jinyoung and Jackson across the room, our mutual Psychology major friends were talking to a few fellow science kids before spotting us. You went to go get some cookies while I went to greet the two of them. A slow song with peacefully strumming guitar strings served as the soundtrack for the following events as Jinyoung, Jackson, and I turned to walk back to where you and I were sitting. I spotted you out the corner of my eye, talking to a ridiculously good-looking guy from our Physics class- Justice or something. He held out his hand, pointing to the dance floor with the other. Jackson winced at the sight, trying to distract me from you, but I watched as you politely declined, walking back to us with an uncomfortable look on your face. 

It was just too much, I gathered- being at a big social event and having your excitement over cookies spoiled by someone trying to talk to you. I 100% agree with your discomfort, but I didn't like to see you experiencing it, either way. Gently, I took your hand and led you out of the dinner hall, walking up some back stairs to the rooftop. Still, we heard the song playing- it was a social for the science majors, not the media majors, but I'm sure at least one of them could have known where the volume buttons were. 

_And all my friends have gone to find,_

_Another place to let their hearts collide_

You giggled into the frigid air and I took your hand, spinning you around, admiring the city lights. We laughed and danced until I felt confident you'd be comfortable once we went back, but even then, I wanted to stay forever. 

_Just promise me, you'll never leave again_

At one point you just rested your head on my chest and we swayed to the music, holding each other. You were blushing, but trying hard to hide it. 

_'Cause you are the only one_

I like to think that night was the night we fell in love. I know it happened somewhere between late-night phone calls and all-day study sessions and snow day sleepovers, but that night was still special in my heart. It set a precedent for all the events leading up to the recognition of our feelings, and I couldn't be more thankful. 

 **words relating to this storyline:**   _n/a_


	8. embarrass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sry for the absence i've been extraordinarily busy lately!!

embarrass

_|emˈbarəs|_

v.

to cause (someone) to feel awkward, self-conscious, or ashamed.

•••

I noticed you talking to Jackson Wang, who was one of our very few mutual friends. You shyly smiled at something he suggested before rolling your eyes in an outgoing manner I wasn't used to seeing with you.

"C'mon, answer me!" He teased as he poked your ribs. I was walking by and it wasn't any of my business what you needed to answer- until it became my business. "Would you kiss Im Jaebum for $200?"

I was curious and confused as to why you guys were talking about me, so I did a sensible thing by pretending to tie my shoe. 

"Please," You scoffed, and I raised my eyebrow, feeling slightly offended before you giggled. "I would _pay_ $200 to kiss Jaebum."

And that was the moment I stood up after hearing all I needed to.

And that was the moment your surprised eyes met mine.

"Oh, God. Oh, no." You whispered flatly under your breath, your eyes not leaving my face. Jackson began to question you before you spun him around to face me, and he tried playing it off by asking about my classes as he grabbed me by my arm and dragged me away from you. My wide eyes watched as you sunk to the floor in defeat, your reddening face hidden tightly in your hands as you screamed into the empty hallway. I smirked to myself.

_Well, I'd pay two thousand to kiss you._

**words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	9. cold

cold 

_|kōld|_

**adj.**

of or at a low or relatively low temperature, especially when compared with the human body.

•••

We lay in my bed, and I was nearly falling off of the edge to keep from initiating any contact. You didn't seem to mind as much as I did, but then again, you probably didn't have an infatuation with me like I did with you. You probably weren't afraid to be thought of as weird. In the candlelight, I saw your curious eyes look up at me.

And I felt your hand settle on my arm, pulling me closer to you.

"I'm cold," you pouted, comfortably climbing to lay on top of me, your ear right against my pistoning heart. I prayed that you assumed that it was because I was scared of the blizzard happening outdoors. That it had nothing to do with how cute you looked in my sweater.

I felt your stomach tense against me as you laughed, and I knew what you were trying to do that night. You were trying to see how close you could possibly get to 'more than friends' without necessarily crossing that line. My hands, although trembling, found their place at your waist, holding you closer to me.

That was the start of an unspoken love that went on for longer than the two days we had spent snowed into my apartment.

 **words relating to this storyline:** _blizzard_


	10. arcane

arcane 

_|ärˈkān|_

**adj.**

understood by few; mysterious or secret.

•••

"So what?" I asked a classmate with a violent asperity in my voice. "Mark's quiet, and that makes him weird?" My eyes shifted to meet yours, wide with curiosity as you pulled out an earphone. You looked as surprised as I did, because I was merely your classmate. A stranger, even. 

"I'm just saying, he's a little creepy," the guy said, causing me to roll my eyes. 

"He only says something if he needs to say it. At least he isn't like you, you only say something if you want to be annoying."

A small smile appeared on your face, and I nodded in acknowledgment before I left, gathering my things.

**words relating to this storyline:** _aswarm, pen_


	11. trivial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok i was hesitant to put the more ~saucy~ entries into this fic lol SIGH it was going so well it was so fluffy this is where it ends

trivial

_/ˈtrivēəl/_

**adj.**

of little value or importance.

•••

It really didn't matter. I swear it didn't matter. 

I'm lying, it mattered. You were really quite the weirdo when it came to this stuff- I mean, New Order over Joy Division, really?

Whatever, it was a fairly long time ago. Who am I kidding, I'm still kind of pissed. 

"Still can't believe you like Joy Division better than New Order,"  you muttered when I requested that you change the song. I nodded, my jaw setting in anger over the impending debate. This was a very frequent and polarizing issue in our relationship, it led to several, uh... _heated_  arguments, to say the least.  

"Yes...because my ears work," I insisted, getting a scoff in return.

"Look, I like New Order because I wanna have fun and kill time. You like Joy Division because you wanna kill  _yourself_ , apparently."

"Look, that was uncalled for," I said sternly. "So what if I'm edgier than you, huh? You jealous of my punk soul?" This was a very unnecessary anger for just a differing music taste, but you really never seemed to back down as I got close to you, pressing you against the wall. God, you looked great when you were angry. 

"Did you really just say that? Are you fucking thirteen, Jaebum?" Your face was red with the intensity of your strong opinions, your breathing heavy with your desire to protect your favorite band. 

"Yeah, I said it, whatcha gonna do about it?" I murmured, closing the space between our lips, feeling you kiss back passionately.

"I'm..." you said, trying to pull away as I kissed you harder. "I'm gonna cringe, you emo idiot." 

"Yeah?" I smiled, kissing down your neck. 

"Y-yeah," you stuttered, hands all over me, up to my hair, down to places that I won't mention in this entry. "Okay, let's get back to studying." 

"Not until you admit Joy Division is better," I muttered into your soft skin as you choked on your own breath. 

"Nev...never," you gasped out, face reddening more by the second. "Y'know, I'm starting to think you only start these arguments just so we'd have these make-out sessio-"

I cut you off by kissing your lips, my tongue moving over them as your arms slung themselves over my shoulders. 

"You started it," I breathed, pulling away. 

"You were the one who asked me to change the song first."

"Fuck you," I grumbled, realizing your logic. 

"Please do," you whispered, causing me to pick you up with a laugh, rushing to your bedroom.

**words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	12. dread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg why does everyone's name start with a 'J' except mark's ??? omg why did i not notice this when i mainly write hyungline fics hahaha
> 
> even justin omfg

dread

_/dred/_

**n.**

great fear or apprehension.

•••

You were away studying at the library as I met with Jinyoung for coffee. When Jinyoung quickly checked a text, he made a small 'o' with his lips before widening his eyes slightly.

"What's up?" I asked, and he nervously looked up at me, a sheepish smile on his face. 

"Jackson's at the library, too, and he saw Mark."

"Oh, are they studying together? Tell them to come meet us after they're done."  


"Well, the thing is..." he murmured, looking off to the side. "Jackson didn't go into the same section as Mark because he looked like he was really focused. But he saw Justin heading into that section. I mean, it doesn't have to mean anything, really, but..."

"What? Oh my God," I sighed. 

"This doesn't have to mean anything. But don't tangle Jackson and I into this, alright? And you're pretty damn crazy when it comes to this stuff, so just try to not assume that Mark is fucking every other person he comes into contact with."

"Look, I don't know, Jinyoung," I said as I began gathering my things, picking up my coffee and finishing it.

"He rejected Justin at that dance a while ago, didn't he? Whatever you do, stay calm, man. Good luck," he called after me as I waved, exiting the coffee shop.

I ran into my apartment, waiting for you. You were supposed to come over after your study session, and I would use that time to express my worries. I hoped that I could contain my anger, I hoped that I wouldn't hurt you. 

 **words relating to this chapter:** _jealousy, dispute, apprehension, intoxicated, hangover_


	13. paradise

paradise

_/ˈperəˌdīs/_

**n.**

an ideal or idyllic place or state.

•••

If I could be anywhere in the world, it would have to be at the place that always briefly flickers in my mind every single time I think about you (which is a lot).

We're in my parent's bed, feeling like some dumb teenagers because they both weren't home, almost like we forgot that we were two grown college students. The things we did were innocent enough, you played on my old Gameboy as I ran my fingertips over your neck just to watch you shiver.

The morning light shone on you, in your oversized hoodie, cuddled up in the thick white sheets as Saturday morning cartoons played from the TV. Your breathing, although quiet and easy to miss, was music to my ears. The house was silent because my siblings were still asleep. We were mostly quiet, both relishing in the peaceful feeling of existing together. You muttered out a request for gentle kisses from time to time, and I obliged before we returned to doing our respective time-wasting tasks. 

Your head found its place on my shoulder and my arm found its place around you, and we sat. Calmly, we just sat.

I didn't know of anything more beautiful than that moment for a long time.

 **words relating to this storyline:** _blithe, youth, collision._


	14. abstract

abstract

**adj.**

_|abˈstrakt|_

existing in thought or as an idea but not having a physical or concrete existence.

•••

You were my favorite thought, on those nights when I was without you. I sighed and imagined the two of us doing everything together as if I had a clue. I imagined everyone seeing us holding hands without a care in the world, and I imagined having you for myself. I imagined myself in love and I thought that maybe it wasn't such a crazy idea after all. Then I imagined you in love with me, and I was brought back down to Earth, where I lay alone.

 **words relating to this storyline:** _n/a_


	15. unflappable

unflappable

_/ˌənˈflapəb(ə)l/_

**adj.**

marked by self-assurance, not easily upset. 

•••

"Imagine me and you, I do, I think about you day and night..." you sang at the karaoke microphone, pointing at me, cheeks red with intoxication. I scoffed in disbelief, laughing as you loudly replaced 'girl' with 'boy' in the lyrics. Shaking my head, I turned back to Jackson, who was giving me a blank stare. 

"What are you guys doing? You've had...literally four bottles of wine, I'm not letting you drink anymore."

"Wh- what do you- what do you mean? I'm fine,  _he's_  the weirdo screaming into the mic!" I hiccuped, and Jackson didn't look too convinced as he took the glass from my hand, taking a sip. 

"You're the one blushing like a madman because he's serenading you," he suggested, causing me to furrow my eyebrows and go back to watching your...performance. 

"Imagine how the world could be, so very fine, so happy togetheeeeer...." you really weren't one with vocal chords of gold, but I loved you either way, even if you didn't know it at the time. To be fair, you probably did. So did everyone else. I was bad about hiding when it came to this stuff, but thankfully you were, too. Especially when we were both wine-drunk. And especially when "Happy Together" was playing, and the drums were kicking in, and I just couldn't resist.

"I can't see me lovin' nobody but  _you_ , for all my life!" We both sang into the mic after I sprang up from my seat, to Jackson's horror. We sang and laughed, to the amusement of Jinyoung and Youngjae and basically everyone but Jackson, who was the one we were supposed to go home with that night. 

I had my arm around your shoulder as we stumbled a bit on the stage, holding onto the microphone stand and each other for support. I watched as Jackson opened a new bottle of wine, pouring more into the glass he took from me. 

"Usually it's the two of them who have to take care of me," he muttered into Youngjae's ear as he typed something up in his phone. "I swear to God, if they start making out in the Uber..."

"Can't make any promises!" You shouted at him into the microphone right in the middle of the  _'ba-ba-ba's.'_

"They're so embarrassing," Jackson sighed, massaging his forehead. 

God, I still cringe.

 **words relating to this storyline:**   _open_ ,  _irritate_


	16. youth

youth

_/yo͞oTH/_

**n.**

the state or quality of being young, especially as associated with vigor, freshness, or immaturity. 

•••

We were playing hide-and-seek with my siblings, and we both had yet to be found. I sat against the back wall of my house as the exhaustion caught up to me. I bent over, holding my back as I winced in pain.

"J-Jaebum?" Your voice asked timidly, and I turned to see that you had been hiding in a shrub next to my resting place. You made your way over to me, looking worried. "Your back...I'm sorry, I shouldn't have made you play outside."

I focused on your face, your brown eyes filling with tears. I waved you over, acting as if I needed help, and you rushed to my side, causing a few tears to fall down.

"Gotcha!" I yelled suddenly, tackling you to the ground and reaching for a discarded water gun to spray you with as you shrieked.

"That's not fair, you exploited my kindness!"

"All's fair in love and war, sucker!"

I sat on top of you, spraying until your hair was soaked and face was dripping. You turned your head to the side in defeat and told me you'd never try to help me again. I turned your face so you could look back at me, face showing mock anger and lips glistening with water. A slight shade of pink began to appear on your cheeks, your breathing still heavy from the shock of the attack. I held your hands, pinning them to the wet grass below.

"Wait, Jaebum," your eyes flickered behind me for a split second as I brought my face down, lips inches away from yours. "We can't-"

I kissed you deeply, and I swore I could feel the breath be taken from my lungs. Your hands found my hair as you deepened the kiss for a split second, pulling away suddenly with wide eyes.

"You're gonna make us lose the game!" You whisper-yelled through clenched teeth, shoving me off of you and retreating to your shrub just as my little brother turned the corner to find me. I shot a death glare at the shrub, imagining your apologetic smile beneath the greenery.

"Found you!" My little brother shouted, and I stood to my feet, making a puppy dog face. I heard a quiet "aww," come from the shrub before I glared at it again.

"Where's Mark?" My little sister ran up to us, and I pointed in the opposite direction of your hiding place.

"I saw him messing around near the garage over there, so you should check there first. I'll be here in case he found another place and is making a run for it." They nodded at the plan, running to the garage. I turned to the shrub with a smirk on my face, stopping in my tracks once your unimpressed face came out of it.

"Stay away, you heathen." You remarked in a flat tone, backing away into the bush again. I approached it, spreading the leaves open. "There's no room," you growled.

"Mark, yes there is, I grew up here, for God's sake."

"You almost got me found."

"You almost killed me, looking the way you do with your hair all wet right now, and your lips-"

"Even in a time like this you're deciding to be a horndog, aren't you?" I rolled my eyes.

"Are you gonna complain about it or are you gonna come here and kiss me?" At this, you gave a slight sigh and teasing smirk before crawling to my side of the bush, locking our lips together in a short kiss.  You pulled back quickly, causing me to groan in frustration.

"Shut up," you laughed, turning and facing the front of the bush. "I have no intention on desecrating your childhood hiding place with any illicit activity." 

"Why not?" I whined pathetically, sending you into a louder fit of giggles, worrying me that my siblings may hear. 

"'Cuz, I'm a good boy," you mumbled, sticking your bottom lip out until I smirked and wiggled my eyebrows.

"A good boy, huh?" 

"Oh my God, shut up," you scoffed, hiding your red face in your shirt. 

"Sorry, I'll stop."

"Can't believe him," I heard you mutter under your breath. "We've been here a total of 5 hours and all he thinks about is where we can get it on...like he doesn't have a damn bedroom we could go to right now."

"Ok, do you or do you not want to?" I giggled, and you shook your head from side to side, spraying me with the water from your hair as I shielded my face with a hand, laughing harder. 

"There's your answer."

"Ah, I don't even know what that means, you brat..." I grumbled before suddenly standing up out of the bush, cupping my hands around my mouth. "Hey, guys! I found Mark, he's right here!" 

 **words relating to this storyline:**   _blithe, paradise, collision._


	17. dispute

dispute

_|disˈpyo͞ot|_

**n.**

a disagreement, argument, or debate.

•••

"Mark, Jinyoung  _told me_  that you were with him!" I shouted across the room, my voice breaking in the middle of my sentence. My jealousy was serious, and it initiated many fights, this one being the first. It's all right now, but whatever pain it caused you in the past, I'm sorry. 

"I was in the library, and he might've sat in the same section as me. I guess he didn't sit close enough, because I am only now aware that he was even there at the same time as me." Your answer was calm and direct, your confidence in yourself unwavering. It was the truth, and I knew that, but for some reason, as long as there was a chance of anyone taking you, I couldn't believe it. 

"Don't be like that, I know you must've talked to him! Tell me if you did, I won't be mad."

You scoffed as you walked closer to me, emphasizing that you didn't need to raise your voice to get your point across.

"You're already mad over something that didn't even happen." Your eyes suddenly fell away from mine, and your gaze was focused on the wall behind me. It was all settling for you, and I knew that you would soon be done with the conversation. I knew that you'd exhausted yourself and anything more would hurt you. I knew that if any time was a time to stop being angry and hold you close, this would be it. I still hate myself for not doing so.

"There must be a reason you're always spending so much time in that library! You've never made me this angry, I hate it!" I screamed despite the fact that you were close enough to hear a soft whisper, despite the fact that I only ever  _wanted_  you to be spoken to in soft whispers.

I suddenly came to my senses.

But it was too late. 

**words relating to this chapter:**   _jealousy, dread, apprehension, intoxicated, hangover_  


	18. sick

sick

_|sik/_

**adj.**

relating to those who are ill.

•••

"I don't feel too good," you whispered as soon as I walked into your dorm, your breathing labored and forehead sweaty. I knelt down to touch it, my fingers burning. 

"Jesus, Mark," I sighed, looking into your half-closed eyes. "C'mon, we should go to the hospital." Your eyes snapped open at that as you grabbed my sleeve, shaking your head. 

"No, I-I'm not that sick," you protested. "I can't. I have a test tomorrow."

"You're not going _anywhere_ tomorrow if you'll be like this." 

"I shouldn't have called you."

"Shut up," I smirked, walking to your kitchen to get water. "Drink."

You did as you were told, screwing your eyes shut as you gulped a small amount down. 

"Drink more."

"I...can't," you breathed. I squatted down to meet your tired eyes.

"You have to," I whispered, taking your hand, watching you nod before drinking more. I stroked your hair as I stood up, walking to the kitchen again to make you some tea. "You have any Tylenol?" I shouted back towards you, getting a weak response in return. "In the cupboard? Alright."

While the water for the tea was boiling, I shuffled back to you, scooping you up into my arms. You were sent into a fit of giggles-turned-coughs as I brought you back into your bedroom, putting you safely under the covers. I brushed your hair from your eyes, looking down at you as I sat beside your tiny frame. 

"I need to study for tomorrow," you called out as I stood to go to the door. 

"No. You're staying here. I'll be back with the tea and Tylenol. And I'm staying over tonight, I'll be on the couch."

"You're being too extra."

"Shut up." 

You obnoxiously coughed as I left your room, causing me to laugh and roll my eyes. 

 


	19. belong

belong

  
_|biˈlôNG|_

  
**v.**

to be rightly placed in a specified position.

•••

There was no way I'd reveal my thoughts to you or anyone for that matter. I couldn't do that to people who depended on me. It was a result of too much stress building up from school and tuition costs and I started to realize that none of it had a point. I began to question where I really belonged in the universe, where I really mattered.

All it took was a shaky breath from me for you to know that I wasn't as okay as I pretended to be. Your book was instantly shut and you found yourself with my forehead resting on your shoulder, the weight of the world being transferred to you for the split second it took for me to blurt out everything.

You listened, holding me as I did to you before, playing with my hair and my hands.

"Where do you belong?" You questioned each of my worries, answering them as you gently stroked my fingers. "That would be with me."

"And where do you matter? You matter to me. You always will." It was my turn to listen while you rubbed my back. "Jaebum, it's okay not to be strong all the time."

You were, at the time, only a best friend to me. I was, at the time, and as I am now, hopelessly in love with you.

"I...know," I said out loud to the empty room, the fluorescent lamp shining from the desk I had long since left. "I _know_ ," I reassured with a whisper as squeezed you tighter, and as I rested a little easier in your arms.

Because that's where I belonged.


End file.
